Friday, January 28, 2011

Rough Week - Hard Times to Come

Here it is Friday around noon.  I've not run at all this week.  So the goal for this week is not going to be met.  I'm OK with that.  I've stepped back and noticed some other things that need to be paid attention to right now.

Running isn't one of my favorite things. I need to work to get myself out there.  This week has been rough because of dealing with truck problems, bike problems, and as of last night phone problems. So with all this other stuff going on, I can't get the energy to get myself out to run. 

I'm an emotional eater.  When things start getting bad, I will eat.  I will eat things that don't taste great, and are bad for me.  When things get really rough, I gain weight.  Which, in turn, makes me depressed more, and the cycle becomes a spiral and heads downward quickly.  It then becomes hard to break out of. 

This is where I'm at now.  In the spiral.  I know this. I know what needs to be done to stop all of this from continuing on.  But, it's hard to break that spiral.  Emotions is stronger than logic (try arguing with someone who is very emotionally upset about something, using logic.) 

I don't want to be here, in this spiral.  It makes me tired, lazy, fatter and just all around unhappy.  There is a lot I want to do this year and next, but this spiral is pointed the wrong direction to make this happen...

I am declaring war.  War on my health. Mental. Emotional. Physical.  It's all getting a make over and attitude adjustment.  This weekend the war plan will be formulated and the execution of said plan will commence immediately forth with!

Some people have said my previous posts were kind of rough on myself.  I reread them and didn't think they were rough at all.  And I don't think this one is rough on me either.  It's the simple truth of where I'm at, and what needs to be done to fix things.  I'm not upset at myself, I just know now is the time to make the changes needed to find the happy Steve that dwells inside.

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