Here it is Friday around noon. I've not run at all this week. So the goal for this week is not going to be met. I'm OK with that. I've stepped back and noticed some other things that need to be paid attention to right now.
Running isn't one of my favorite things. I need to work to get myself out there. This week has been rough because of dealing with truck problems, bike problems, and as of last night phone problems. So with all this other stuff going on, I can't get the energy to get myself out to run.
I'm an emotional eater. When things start getting bad, I will eat. I will eat things that don't taste great, and are bad for me. When things get really rough, I gain weight. Which, in turn, makes me depressed more, and the cycle becomes a spiral and heads downward quickly. It then becomes hard to break out of.
This is where I'm at now. In the spiral. I know this. I know what needs to be done to stop all of this from continuing on. But, it's hard to break that spiral. Emotions is stronger than logic (try arguing with someone who is very emotionally upset about something, using logic.)
I don't want to be here, in this spiral. It makes me tired, lazy, fatter and just all around unhappy. There is a lot I want to do this year and next, but this spiral is pointed the wrong direction to make this happen...
I am declaring war. War on my health. Mental. Emotional. Physical. It's all getting a make over and attitude adjustment. This weekend the war plan will be formulated and the execution of said plan will commence immediately forth with!
Some people have said my previous posts were kind of rough on myself. I reread them and didn't think they were rough at all. And I don't think this one is rough on me either. It's the simple truth of where I'm at, and what needs to be done to fix things. I'm not upset at myself, I just know now is the time to make the changes needed to find the happy Steve that dwells inside.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Rough Time Lately
Last week I didn't make my goal exactly. I missed out on running five days. But I had five runs in. I doubled up on Thursday because I knew I wasn't going to get a run in on Saturday because of having to take my truck in for supposedly an oil change.
I got to the dealership to get the 115k service (just basic oil change and some other things) and waited around. I did tell them that there was some funky squeaking happening as well so they were going to look into that. After waiting for three hours they came back to me and let me know what was going on. Needed water pump replaced and some bushings on the tie-rods and struts and stuff (not a car guy so no real clue here.) This immediately brought me into a bit of a depression. Broken trucks and bad finances will always do this.
Sunday, went out biking, and got in 20 miles in about an hour forty. I was feeling pretty down still and this ride was actually pretty hard. A 20 mile ride shouldn't be that hard at this point. So, that contributes to the downward spiral.
Monday morning, I wake up at the alarm, and hear it raining and decide I didn't really want to go through the hassle of getting dress to run in the rain. Plus I was really feeling the bike in my legs still. So I went back to sleep with the plan of going running in the evening. Everyone talks about getting your work out done in the morning because something may come up later in the day which makes you miss out on it. And this was definitely true yesterday. I had a scheduled meeting after work, and because of the weather it got delayed about 30 minutes. Then it also went on a bit longer than I had anticipated at this time as well. But that's ok, still plenty of time to go run. Get into my truck, and the battery is dead. Crap. So my mood sinks again, and running is completely out now.
I call up Triple-A and they come out in about an hour, and I get going. Running is out, because it's too late, I would be too wired from it to be able to sleep. Plus I just don't feel like it at all. I stop at Whataburger for dinner. It didn't really taste great, but it was comforting. Yup, I eat crap when I need comforting even when it doesn't taste good.
I get home, and get everything ready so I can run in the morning. It will be a new day and things are going to be good tomorrow!
Alarm goes off at 4am, and it awakes me from a dream where some lady crashed into my truck because she was driving down the wrong side of the road. While waiting for the cops to show, I find out she has no insurance I start going into a bit of a rage fit, but before anything really happens, that's when the alarm went off. So I wake up pissed off. And my knee is locked. I slept funny and it won't move or anything. And I also have a bunch of blood in my mouth from biting through my tongue again. Great start to the day. I'm going back to sleep.
My goal for this week is in a flux, I'm not sure I will make it. But, goals are things to reach for. And the real goal is 3 miles a day, 5 days a week for 2011. There will be weeks when I don't make that happen. There will be weeks when I do make it happen. And I expect down the road, I will have much more mileage than just 3 miles a day. So, I will continue to reach for this goal.
I will also take lessons learned here, to always make sure to get that run in, in the morning, because YES, you don't know what will happen through out the day, which may cause you to miss out on the run or whatever.
Another lesson is some times you do need to just step back and take a break, breathe a little and don't worry about hitting all your goals bang on. In the end it doesn't really matter, as long as you can keep yourself happy and continue to be happy doing what you are doing. Don't beat yourself up because you missed out on a work out, or a financial goal in a certain time or something. Life happens, and it passes you by while you are berating yourself. Something happens deal with it, move past it and get on with the good stuff again.
Supposedly I will be going running after work tonight if my knee behaves it self. If not, then definitely in the morning. We shall see if it happens or not either way. It is OK.
I got to the dealership to get the 115k service (just basic oil change and some other things) and waited around. I did tell them that there was some funky squeaking happening as well so they were going to look into that. After waiting for three hours they came back to me and let me know what was going on. Needed water pump replaced and some bushings on the tie-rods and struts and stuff (not a car guy so no real clue here.) This immediately brought me into a bit of a depression. Broken trucks and bad finances will always do this.
Sunday, went out biking, and got in 20 miles in about an hour forty. I was feeling pretty down still and this ride was actually pretty hard. A 20 mile ride shouldn't be that hard at this point. So, that contributes to the downward spiral.
Monday morning, I wake up at the alarm, and hear it raining and decide I didn't really want to go through the hassle of getting dress to run in the rain. Plus I was really feeling the bike in my legs still. So I went back to sleep with the plan of going running in the evening. Everyone talks about getting your work out done in the morning because something may come up later in the day which makes you miss out on it. And this was definitely true yesterday. I had a scheduled meeting after work, and because of the weather it got delayed about 30 minutes. Then it also went on a bit longer than I had anticipated at this time as well. But that's ok, still plenty of time to go run. Get into my truck, and the battery is dead. Crap. So my mood sinks again, and running is completely out now.
I call up Triple-A and they come out in about an hour, and I get going. Running is out, because it's too late, I would be too wired from it to be able to sleep. Plus I just don't feel like it at all. I stop at Whataburger for dinner. It didn't really taste great, but it was comforting. Yup, I eat crap when I need comforting even when it doesn't taste good.
I get home, and get everything ready so I can run in the morning. It will be a new day and things are going to be good tomorrow!
Alarm goes off at 4am, and it awakes me from a dream where some lady crashed into my truck because she was driving down the wrong side of the road. While waiting for the cops to show, I find out she has no insurance I start going into a bit of a rage fit, but before anything really happens, that's when the alarm went off. So I wake up pissed off. And my knee is locked. I slept funny and it won't move or anything. And I also have a bunch of blood in my mouth from biting through my tongue again. Great start to the day. I'm going back to sleep.
My goal for this week is in a flux, I'm not sure I will make it. But, goals are things to reach for. And the real goal is 3 miles a day, 5 days a week for 2011. There will be weeks when I don't make that happen. There will be weeks when I do make it happen. And I expect down the road, I will have much more mileage than just 3 miles a day. So, I will continue to reach for this goal.
I will also take lessons learned here, to always make sure to get that run in, in the morning, because YES, you don't know what will happen through out the day, which may cause you to miss out on the run or whatever.
Another lesson is some times you do need to just step back and take a break, breathe a little and don't worry about hitting all your goals bang on. In the end it doesn't really matter, as long as you can keep yourself happy and continue to be happy doing what you are doing. Don't beat yourself up because you missed out on a work out, or a financial goal in a certain time or something. Life happens, and it passes you by while you are berating yourself. Something happens deal with it, move past it and get on with the good stuff again.
Supposedly I will be going running after work tonight if my knee behaves it self. If not, then definitely in the morning. We shall see if it happens or not either way. It is OK.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Running Times Two
Woke up this morning when the alarm went off at 4am. I grumbled. I was exhausted. I was set to reset the alarm when I remembered that this morning I was actually meeting someone at 5 to run, so up I got. Headed to Memorial and was cursing the clouds since it was a full moon last night. It would have been awesome to run in that moonlight. Oh well.
Met up with my running partner and off we went. We chatted and I didn't have much problem at all today keeping with her. I'm not sure if she slowed down a bit because she was running with me, or was just taking it easy, but yeah today was much easier than when we ran the first time week ago this last Monday. It did take us longer, and I noticed when I uploaded the data off my watch that we were running 9:30s instead of the 8:30s last time. Will have to ask about that when we meet up on Monday again. "Make me work! I need the push!" But was also glad it was easy since my plan was to run trails tonight as well.
That's right. You heard me. Or saw me as this case is. Two runs in one day! I did it because I forgot I was going to run with my morning running partner until after I had already posted saying I was going to run trails. So in case anyone showed up (and no one did) I would be at the trails to run with them.
It was colder tonight running than it was this morning too. There was quite a wind blowing which I have problems with. I can handle cold, cold and wet. But not wind. That just cuts right through me, so I bundled up in my big fleecy orange shirt and a wind breaker. And off I went. The trails were closed so I hopped the fence (relax!) and ran down Purple until it came to the trail that has logs across it to keep the bikers off, and heads towards the railroad tracks. I ran along the tracks to the street and then down to the Triangle since it doesn't close. I figured a nice quick lap of that and back would get me about three miles. Of course it had been a loooong time since I've been to the triangle. And it's always been on bike before. I found a trail that I wasn't familiar with at all and it took me to the horse stables of the polo field. Oops. No idea where I was on the trails at this point and was also pretty close to the 3 mile mark at this time, along with thoughts of "this is going to turn into a 6 mile run!"
I back tracked my steps to where the road and trail met and found another trail, and it was short and sweet and dumped me at the rail road tracks. Cool! And I followed that and it went straight to Memorial Drive and was a lot closer than I was expecting! So my 3 mile run, which I was starting to think was going to turn into a 6 mile at least turned into only at 3.7 mile run. Which I did in about 42 minutes. Not too shabby considering I did a little walking wondering where I was going, and hopping over logs and through tunnels and such. And it was ... enjoyable. I definitely will have to be doing a lot more trail running if I want to keep with my running goals.
Speaking of. I may not make my 5 days this week, so I'm cheating a little bit and using one of my two runs today as a second run. It's going to depend on what happens with my truck on Saturday as I need to take it into the shop for it's 115k checkup. Hopefully won't take too long and I can get a quick run in, but if not, then yeah, I'm fudging my numbers a bit, and am OK with that.
Met up with my running partner and off we went. We chatted and I didn't have much problem at all today keeping with her. I'm not sure if she slowed down a bit because she was running with me, or was just taking it easy, but yeah today was much easier than when we ran the first time week ago this last Monday. It did take us longer, and I noticed when I uploaded the data off my watch that we were running 9:30s instead of the 8:30s last time. Will have to ask about that when we meet up on Monday again. "Make me work! I need the push!" But was also glad it was easy since my plan was to run trails tonight as well.
That's right. You heard me. Or saw me as this case is. Two runs in one day! I did it because I forgot I was going to run with my morning running partner until after I had already posted saying I was going to run trails. So in case anyone showed up (and no one did) I would be at the trails to run with them.
It was colder tonight running than it was this morning too. There was quite a wind blowing which I have problems with. I can handle cold, cold and wet. But not wind. That just cuts right through me, so I bundled up in my big fleecy orange shirt and a wind breaker. And off I went. The trails were closed so I hopped the fence (relax!) and ran down Purple until it came to the trail that has logs across it to keep the bikers off, and heads towards the railroad tracks. I ran along the tracks to the street and then down to the Triangle since it doesn't close. I figured a nice quick lap of that and back would get me about three miles. Of course it had been a loooong time since I've been to the triangle. And it's always been on bike before. I found a trail that I wasn't familiar with at all and it took me to the horse stables of the polo field. Oops. No idea where I was on the trails at this point and was also pretty close to the 3 mile mark at this time, along with thoughts of "this is going to turn into a 6 mile run!"
I back tracked my steps to where the road and trail met and found another trail, and it was short and sweet and dumped me at the rail road tracks. Cool! And I followed that and it went straight to Memorial Drive and was a lot closer than I was expecting! So my 3 mile run, which I was starting to think was going to turn into a 6 mile at least turned into only at 3.7 mile run. Which I did in about 42 minutes. Not too shabby considering I did a little walking wondering where I was going, and hopping over logs and through tunnels and such. And it was ... enjoyable. I definitely will have to be doing a lot more trail running if I want to keep with my running goals.
Speaking of. I may not make my 5 days this week, so I'm cheating a little bit and using one of my two runs today as a second run. It's going to depend on what happens with my truck on Saturday as I need to take it into the shop for it's 115k checkup. Hopefully won't take too long and I can get a quick run in, but if not, then yeah, I'm fudging my numbers a bit, and am OK with that.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Lack of Biking Motivation
It seems I'm currently lacking motivation to really bike. This isn't so great, considering I have quite a few miles to ride in May. I did get on it, and I did about 11 miles in 45ish minutes. Fairly slow and easy going, but I was very tired from the run this morning and non stop go go go all day. I almost fell asleep at my desk the last two hours of work.
I'm starting to think I might have to nap at work during lunch so I get energized for my afternoon workouts after early morning ones. I'm doing a double run tomorrow so we shall see how I feel for that second run which will be a trail run.
At least I'm not lacking motivation for the running these days, so that's good. Just sad I am on the bike since I like it most. But I'm sure once things start flowing again with a routine that will change and I will be hammer out the miles without second thoughts!
I'm starting to think I might have to nap at work during lunch so I get energized for my afternoon workouts after early morning ones. I'm doing a double run tomorrow so we shall see how I feel for that second run which will be a trail run.
At least I'm not lacking motivation for the running these days, so that's good. Just sad I am on the bike since I like it most. But I'm sure once things start flowing again with a routine that will change and I will be hammer out the miles without second thoughts!
Early Morning Run in the Moon Light
First favourite way to run is in the rain. But after this morning a very close second is now running under neath a (near)full moon. The bright glow of the moon radiating on the still earth that early (4:45am) in the morning was positively brilliant.
My run sucked still, but it was a good run. Did the 3.04 miles in 27:03, so yeah, not horrible. Mile paces: 8:37, 9:04, 8:54. So yeah, not horrible at all. The first mile did feel more fluid than I did last night, and it slowly got rougher, but over all it was more fluid feeling.
If you get the chance, go out and run in the moonlight.
My run sucked still, but it was a good run. Did the 3.04 miles in 27:03, so yeah, not horrible. Mile paces: 8:37, 9:04, 8:54. So yeah, not horrible at all. The first mile did feel more fluid than I did last night, and it slowly got rougher, but over all it was more fluid feeling.
If you get the chance, go out and run in the moonlight.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Still Feeling Off
So I am still feeling off. Running felt pretty crappy too because of it. But, I did get out there and do it. And today the Suunto decided to work again correctly, so I got my stats and realized no wonder it was a bit rough. The first mile was done at 8:35, followed by 9:02 and then 8:58. I was hoping for a nice easy run, and that wasn't really it.
While I was running I felt like a lumbering troll. Everything just seemed to be moving awkward like. I need to refind the fluid motion I once had, even if it didn't look like it, it felt fluid to me. That made runs a bit more enjoyable. But ah well. I'm still out there running and that's what's counting!
It's late, I'm tired. Night!
While I was running I felt like a lumbering troll. Everything just seemed to be moving awkward like. I need to refind the fluid motion I once had, even if it didn't look like it, it felt fluid to me. That made runs a bit more enjoyable. But ah well. I'm still out there running and that's what's counting!
It's late, I'm tired. Night!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Don't Feel Like It.
I didn't get up this morning to run. The person I was suppose to run Mon/Wed emailed last night saying they weren't going to because they had the day off and wanted to bike instead. So, that has been one run out of three since saying we were going to do it. So much for accountability there. Plus I was just totally exhausted, so the sleep was good.
I woke up in a blah mood, didn't want to go run after work. Work was blah, still didn't want to go run after work. After work was blah and still didn't want to go run. But I ran. Don't really feel like blogging about it, but oh well, I ran so I should write it up here. I had forgotten my watch at home, so no exact distances (not that I would have probably had them since it's been flakey lately.) and just used my iPod's stop watch to time myself on the loop at Memorial. 26:41 was my time. So my nice and easy run tonight was my fastest in a while. There were no stops no walking no nothing, I just ran. While running I didn't want to be running. Hopefully tomorrow I will not be so blah and things will be good again.
I woke up in a blah mood, didn't want to go run after work. Work was blah, still didn't want to go run after work. After work was blah and still didn't want to go run. But I ran. Don't really feel like blogging about it, but oh well, I ran so I should write it up here. I had forgotten my watch at home, so no exact distances (not that I would have probably had them since it's been flakey lately.) and just used my iPod's stop watch to time myself on the loop at Memorial. 26:41 was my time. So my nice and easy run tonight was my fastest in a while. There were no stops no walking no nothing, I just ran. While running I didn't want to be running. Hopefully tomorrow I will not be so blah and things will be good again.
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